Friday, February 4, 2011

Getting Over Breakup Tips - You Can Make It

By Suzy Weiss


Heartbreak after divorce - it's one thing that really brings out the worst in you. If you're hurting right now, you might be seeking and getting over breakup tips. Moving on after a painful separation and the end of your marriage can be confusing. After spending so much time together, starting to do things alone may be new to you. It will hurt now, but like any other breakups, it will pass.

Right after the breakup and divorce, get rid of all the things that would remind you of your ex-husband. There maybe times that you want to recall your happy memories, but it won't help. Don't torture yourself by going down the memory lane every single day. Get rid of all the gifts he had given you. Put all of it in a box. Take all the letters you've kept as well. Seal the box and keep it in a place where you won't see it. You can also let your friend keep it to ensure that you won't have access to it. Or better yet, throw the box, or burn it.

The good news is it is not the end of the world. It may be hard to accept at first, but you were with the wrong person. If not, the relationship would have worked in the first place. Acknowledge that both of you have the problem. Don't ever blame all of it on yourself or on him. A relationship involves two people. If it works, the credit goes to the both of you. If it doesn't, the two of you are still accountable.

One of the effective getting over breakup tips is to grieve as long as you feel like it. Cry until you get tired. It is an essential part of the healing process. Don't pretend that you can handle it without pouring out your emotions. Holding it all back and keeping it in is never helpful. Keeping your feelings inside will only take its toll eventually.

Learn from what happened. As said earlier, there are factors that led to the demise of your relationship. Be aware of the reasons, but don't ever blame anyone. Both of you made your share of mistakes. Take it as a learning experience so that on your next relationship, you know better. If you are keeping your own list of getting over breakup tips, include all your realizations.

Prioritize yourself. Take time to get to know yourself again and to piece back what was broken. Jumping to a rebound relationship will only cause you more problems. You need to resolve all your issues within. To avoid hurting other people and yourself, focus on your healing first.

Now is the best time for you to appreciate your support system. Spend more time with your family and friends. You need their company now more than ever. In times of difficulties, they're the ones who could pick you up and help you get through it. They may not take all of the pain away, but they can make things easier.

Lastly, forgive yourself and forgive your ex-husband. There may be times that you hated yourself for things you've done and failed to do. Forgive yourself for all that. Your ex may have caused you pain. Forgive him for that, too. Make peace with your past so you could move on happily. You won't need getting over breakup tips by then because for sure, you'll be over it.




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